True Transformation by Tonya Recla

True Transformation: But, I AM a ________ (fill in the blank)

Transformation is something we all want to do, but that requires change and is sometimes uncomfortable.  Transformation sometimes does not allow us to see where we’re going from the current vantage point of where we are - with one foot clinging to the edge of the cliff and not knowing where we’ll land. It requires a letting go.  Often times, there is no timeframe one can look forward to and with an uncharted destination; yet, it’s only as we settle into our new place in mind, body and soul that we can look back and see and embrace the difference. When true transformation occurs,  mind, body and soul unite and transcend a previously held limitation or belief. Then, and only then, have you truly transformed.

While people experience transformation in purely personal and unique ways, they share certain underlying truths. One of the steps necessary for transformation is the release of self-limiting labels. In order to transform you must be willing to release expectations regarding who you are, specifically those pertaining to the area of desired change.

In essence, it is impossible to become something new if you cling to an old idea. If you believe in every cell of your body you lack the talent to be a racecar driver, you will not be a racecar driver until you release that belief. As Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” The value in this statement goes well beyond pretty words. Our self-speak, or thought process, is one of the most valuable tools we have for creating our world. And though it’s easy to write about, quieting your inner critic is tough. Most of us live in societies that urge self-definition. We ARE so many things and we assign each one a value. For example, you might be a mother, sister, daughter, etc. And each of us assigns a particular value to our position within our families. For some, being a mother is the end-all-be-all and that identity stands front and center. This concept is called saliency.

More important to the discussion of transformation, however, is how we feel about that identity and the qualities we assign it. If you believe in your heart of hearts that a mother behaves in a certain way, dresses in certain clothing, and believes certain things then your “mother” self-identity limits your ability to transform that aspect of yourself. And those labels and values are important to us. We comfort ourselves knowing we “get” ourselves; we understand who we are. Because without those labels and their accompanying values, who are we? If you stopped right now and dropped everything you know about yourself at your feet and walked away…who would you be? That concept scares even the most self-actualized amongst us because we wear those identities like our favorite holey and raggedy sweaters. And we do it because they’re comfortable. But transformation is the antithesis of comfort. It exists only when we decide we’ve had enough of comfort and want more.

And as with any cocoon, the value of comfort lies in protecting us until we’re ready to metamorphose. Allow the self-limiting, value-laden self-identities to slough away and you free yourself to emerge…still yourself, but a better, freer version - transformed.

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